I thought I had that figured out, until I met Him...
I had just moved to a new city, and in the excitement thought I would try my hand at dating, seeing as I seemed to struggle with it in my hometown. Initially, it hadn't gone as planned. I discovered many of the same types of people that I had avoided back home. Ones that were serious about some things, just... that those things weren't exactly what I had in mind as far as meeting someone new goes. A few unbearable dates passed, and I managed to meet someone I really related to. Unfortunately what had happened, was that it came doubled. I met TWO seemingly perfect men.
I'll start by explaining the one I met first. We chatted a little before setting up a time and day to meet, and if I remember correctly I pushed the day back a few days longer than I needed to as to not look to eager. Honestly, the guy had a mohawk.. my first instinct would have been to pass him over, had he not tickled the overly intelligent part of me that craves a deep conversation. Which was exactly what he continued to do each and every time we met. Almost nightly in fact we'd go out for a coffee and talk for hours about anything that came to mind.
Though don't think that was all, there was slight and measured physical contact, the timed hand hold, an arm around the shoulders after sharing a painful life moment, the hug goodbye.
I had just moved to a new city, and in the excitement thought I would try my hand at dating, seeing as I seemed to struggle with it in my hometown. Initially, it hadn't gone as planned. I discovered many of the same types of people that I had avoided back home. Ones that were serious about some things, just... that those things weren't exactly what I had in mind as far as meeting someone new goes. A few unbearable dates passed, and I managed to meet someone I really related to. Unfortunately what had happened, was that it came doubled. I met TWO seemingly perfect men.
I'll start by explaining the one I met first. We chatted a little before setting up a time and day to meet, and if I remember correctly I pushed the day back a few days longer than I needed to as to not look to eager. Honestly, the guy had a mohawk.. my first instinct would have been to pass him over, had he not tickled the overly intelligent part of me that craves a deep conversation. Which was exactly what he continued to do each and every time we met. Almost nightly in fact we'd go out for a coffee and talk for hours about anything that came to mind.
Though don't think that was all, there was slight and measured physical contact, the timed hand hold, an arm around the shoulders after sharing a painful life moment, the hug goodbye.
Finding even that in our time apart we would text nearly non-stop throughout the day and the night lengthy and inspiring paragraphs to each other.
What was surprising to me was how he would listen to what I say, and encourage me to share the things I was afraid of, and things I wanted to do in life and just, that day. I knew I could ask him anything and somehow he would find a way to make that happen. He just, did things that made me happy, to the best of his knowledge of me.
So needless to say, it was going pretty well at that point.
And then the second came along. The beginning is naturally quite similar, which probably has more to do with my style than anything else. I try to get a read on people before I entrust them with getting to know me. Talking online, sharing a little about each other.. Nothing heavily important just slight details that attempt to paint a positive picture. The difference with this man being, he wasn't around at the time I had invited him out in hopes of meeting him. Being that after I was so, consumed by man #1 I hadn't really even thought about it until a message came up saying he was back home and would like to meet. Given that I wasn't sure, I gave it a few days and thought it over... then just decided to do it. We had a rough start, given that it seemed face to face we were both a little awkward. What was there was a flicker of something though, and I couldn't help but pursue it and find out what was brimming underneath.
And then the second came along. The beginning is naturally quite similar, which probably has more to do with my style than anything else. I try to get a read on people before I entrust them with getting to know me. Talking online, sharing a little about each other.. Nothing heavily important just slight details that attempt to paint a positive picture. The difference with this man being, he wasn't around at the time I had invited him out in hopes of meeting him. Being that after I was so, consumed by man #1 I hadn't really even thought about it until a message came up saying he was back home and would like to meet. Given that I wasn't sure, I gave it a few days and thought it over... then just decided to do it. We had a rough start, given that it seemed face to face we were both a little awkward. What was there was a flicker of something though, and I couldn't help but pursue it and find out what was brimming underneath.
What began as friendly and uncomplicated though, took a turn for the worse. As should be expected. Despite my very clear statement of intent.. I was technically seeing two different people, both of them expecting to date me in the end, and completely unaware of their competition. I set it up for a disaster, and I had never intended to.
It was one thing they shared, though two completely different entities. They brought out pieces of me, they made me want to strive for excellence and belief in myself and humanity. The pieces though, were as different as the men who had dragged them out of me. One, had sent me through a wormhole of darkness and taught me how to never trust but to always observe. The other, has offered simplicity and life in pure form. Exactly as intended. Family, friends, warmth above all else.
The man I chose, had ultimately won me over, by being patient, understanding, and loving. The circumstances of our meeting never mattered to him, because in the end, he knew that in all my insecurities, I still, chose him to be my partner, my love, my everything.
I chose him, the third day we spent together. I fell in love, the very same day.
The man I chose, had ultimately won me over, by being patient, understanding, and loving. The circumstances of our meeting never mattered to him, because in the end, he knew that in all my insecurities, I still, chose him to be my partner, my love, my everything.
I chose him, the third day we spent together. I fell in love, the very same day.
